Empowering Birth Blog

Baby on the way!

It has been ages since I've blogged.  I took July and August off to focus on family, and then in September our family had some surprising news, and I didn't really feel like blogging until it was time to share the news.  You guessed it, we are expecting our fourth!  

Quite a surprise I must say.  I've been using Natural Family Planning, and apparently didn't realize the effects of possibly being close to Menopause (I am 37) and throwing my schedule off so drastically by attending births.  I hadn't had any real signs of Menopause, maybe a tiny variance in one cycle, but I know it can strike at any time.  It isn't like you get a notice in the mail announcing "Heads up Menopause is around the corner, expect cycle variations!"  When we had sex I had ZERO fertility signs, plus it was six days before the earliest I've ever ovulated.  I know NFP says seven days to be safe but I had been charting for quite awhile and never ovulated before day 19, and usually not until day 21, so I felt safe.  And six days should be ok, I mean sperm only lives 5 days (at best!).  But then I went to two crazy births, back to back, one of which was very long, and I noticed a shift in my cycle. This little person was determined to come into our lives, and we are excited to become a family of six!

Looking back, I think this baby has many lessons for me, the biggest being that I can't plan everything.  I had neatly planned out the completion of the PEP process and the latest date I would take my NARM exam (I had planned to take it by August of 2012).  I was also going to finish my Birthing From Within certification.  Now everything is up in the air, and that is ok.  While I can, I am plowing full speed ahead with the PEP process.  I have been on a roll with daytime births (five in a row!) and at 13 weeks on Wednesday, I am feeling like I am about ready to handle an all-nighter again.  Finishing up the PEP process will depend on whether or not families are willing to let me attend their birth with a newborn for part of their labor.  I am just not willing to be away from a newborn for any length of time until they are at least 9 months.  And of course I will be taking four months off (my last 4 weeks of pregnancy, and the first three months).  So I might not take the NARM exam until February of 2013, and that is ok.  It is good to be forced to be flexible, I am learning my lesson (smile).

So I am "due" end May (my third May baby, although this one might come in June) and I am using my good friend and fellow student midwife as my midwife (with preceptor present of course so it counts!).  I think it might have just been my husband and I (with a knowledgable friend nearby if needed) if I wasn't a student midwife and 110% committed to students.  We NEED more midwives in our area and I will be honored to be submitted as a "Continuity of Care" birth (at least 3 of the births attended by CPMs need to be women that have been seen by the student over the course of a pregnancy for at least 4 prenatal visits).  Oh and of COURSE we are having the baby at home.

Last week I attended the birth of a ten pound baby, no suturing needed!  I have been at quite a few births with nuchal hands (left or right hand up by the face), in fact, I have been wondering what is up since we are not the only ones seeing so many nuchal hands.  Each birth I attend blows me away and reminds me how incredibly amazing women and their partners are.  It fires me up that CPMs are legally authorized to attend home births in only 27 states.  Women NEED access to midwives and home birth should be an option, in EVERY state.

Well, my little one calls so I must run.  We are in the process of weaning (she is two and a half, and I have a hard time nursing while pregnant), down to three nursings a day.  So I need to help her work through the fact that we no longer nurse after nap...  I hope that IF I have any regular readers left, that all are well.

Peace

 

Nettie is One Today!

Nettie turned one this morning, early this morning.  Where does the time go?  Little Antoinette, born ten days after the due date I calculated (I ovulate around day 20), 16 days after a due date calculated by the last menstrual period. She taught me patience from the very beginning.  I am always amazed at how much our kids teach us and shape us into our better selves.  Thank you Nettie for the gift of you!  It has been fun remembering your birth.

See you after the 25th!

There is so much to tell but no time to tell it!  In short, I have joined The Big Push (never thought I would do this, I was rather super-idealistically against licensing midwives until recently when a series of events made me cautiously but firmly change my opinion).  I am currently organizing a gathering of Maryland/DC area midwives during which we will get to know each other, review our history, and have a panel that should lead to a rousing discussion on the pros and cons of licensing.  Given the fact that we move this weekend and that this meeting takes place October 25th, the smart thing to do would be to avoid blogging until the meeting is over. 
If a movement to decriminalize or license midwives grows out of our October 25th meeting, I will need to rethink my study plans.  I am considering taking a year or two off from intense studying (during which I would organize) and then begin a MEAC accredited program, possibly the National Midwifery Institute.  Still mulling things over...

Our Tiny Little Apartment

Now that we are about to move out, I decided to take pictures of our tiny little place.  Someday we will look back fondly on the time we spent two months and a week in a 375 square foot apartment.  Here are some pictures.

With the beds tucked away in the morning (the kids sleep on a trundle) the front room seems rather spacious.

We didn't bring much (most of the limited furniture is our friends') but I brought my rocking chair!

Below are the trundle beds out early in the morning.  You can see Fen tucked into his bed.

The place is almost too tiny for furniture.  We use the wardrobe my friend had as a child and several stacked plastic bins (you can see a few to the right) for much of our clothing.  Since we didn't know how long we would be staying here, we had to bring clothes for all seasons.

Nettie's Amby bed (which she is no longer using) fits perfectly between our bed and the wall.

We begin the process of moving this weekend! Monday will be the first night in our new place.  Though some might think it small (it is technically a two bedroom), after two months here, it will seem like a mansion!  We are so blessed to have found this place!  There isn't/wasn't anything on the market (the house we found never went on the market, it is a for sale by owner) in our price range that would fit our family (and we don't need much space!) unless you are willing to move two miles from the metro.  That just isn't doable with a one car family and a mom who attends births.  When I have the car, Matt has to be able to get where he needs to go with all three kids and not take all day.

36 Weeks Pregnant!

Just a quick post to stay I am still here and baby is still inside.  With the upcoming move I barely have a moment to check my email let alone blog.  I am very big and tired but still feeling good.  We shot the virtual tour of my house yesterday, a big load off my plate.  It isn't easy putting a house in immaculate order with two little ones running around! 
Other news...my friend who is a photographer will be photographing the birth so stay tuned for some neat birth pictures.  I have also invited the three wonderful women I apprentice with to the birth.  A bit of a crowd you might say but they don't have to be in the same room with me, and I am not sure if they will all be here since they are all doulas and might be at a birth.  I feel so lucky to be apprenticing with such strong, compassionate, supportive women.  I am looking forward to becoming a midwife with them.
On the apprentice note, I am still attending prenatals with my midwife.  Next week will probably be my last week as I will be 37 weeks and ready to take the last few weeks to relax and nest.

Seven Months Pregnant!

With two little ones to run around after, time flies!  I am quickly approaching my estimated due date.  We are also planning a move which means little time for blogging.  I've been putting together a CD of my favorite gospel songs for the birth (I LOVE Itunes!) and finishing up the last prenatal yoga class that I will be teaching before the baby is born.  I continue to attend prenatal visits with my midwife and am becoming quite confident in my blood pressure taking and fetal heart rate counting skills.  Palpating baby is becoming easier as well though it is quite an art.  I am happy to report my baby is head down.  I palpated the head on my own belly and had my midwife confirm that I was indeed feeling a head.
I promise to blog more when things slow down but with the upcoming move things are bound to be crazy.  We will move shortly after the baby is born.  Once again I am giving birth in a house and then moving.  The first time was tough, this time I am better able to see it as a gift that I am giving this house and the family that will buy this house from us.  So much love is added to a house as a baby is born....

Fen is Weaned...

My goal was to wean Fen as gently as I could.  Knowing that nursing is painful for me during pregnancy (I nursed Khady the first three months of my pregnancy with Fen and gave it up due to the discomfort), I started the process of weaning shortly after I became pregnant.  As I approached six months, I was successfully nursing Fen only every two or three days and hoping my milk would hurry up and dry up!  Last Tuesday (Feb. 12) Fen asked to nurse before bed.  I said, ok but I think the milk might be all gone.  Sure enough, he nursed on one side and said, "all done, other side?," and then nursed on the other side for about thirty seconds only to declare "all done too."  So the milk is all gone and the weaning process complete.  He asks every now and then but I remind him that he tried and the milk was all gone and then distract him, which works.  Six months pregnant with very sore nipples, I am happy that the nursing is over but even more content that I was able to wean him gradually and with very few complaints.  Though it does tear a bit at my heart strings to have to wean a two year old who, without mom's gentle but firm efforts to redirect, would not have stopped nursing so soon...

Too busy growing a baby

I know, I haven't posted for a week, but this baby growing thing takes work!  I am SOOOOO tired.  And I have also begun my apprentice-ship!  I've done a few births with my midwife but to date have not had a regular schedule nor have I been introduced as her apprentice.  Last Tuesday I woke up at the crack of dawn, hurriedly gathered my things together, ate breakfast, packed an ample amount of snacks, and headed up to Frederick, a good hour and fifteen minutes north of DC, without traffic.  I met my midwife and accompanied her for the day on home prenatal visits.  At each stop I palpated the mom's belly to determine position as each mom, took fetal heart tones, and assessed blood pressure.  I was introduced as her apprentice/student.  Oh the joy of riding all day long in a car and visiting mommies with a seasoned midwife that I love dearly.  I will be following my midwife around and/or accompanying her at one of her three offices for prenatals every other week and occasionally on additional days as well.  I am going to try and fit as many prenatal and post-partum visits in as possible before the baby comes, take six months off before I resume prenatal visits and two and 1/2 years after the birth before I resume attending births. 

So there just isn't that much time for blogging.  I am learning to acknowledge that I can't do everything and evenings, I am just too tired to blog.  I used to blog during nap time, and will continue to do so a couple times a week, but usually I end up sleeping the entire time Fen is down.  My midwife suggested that perhaps I am having twins but I think my extreme exhaustion is due to the fact that my body is still producing a lot of milk.  With Khady, my milk dried up by three and a half months but I am almost four months and my body insists on producing copious amounts of milk.  It is an awful lot of work to produce milk AND a baby.  No wonder I eat all the time!

And sometimes when I have free time I just want to relax, like right now.  I am reading a fantastic book, Eat, Love, Pray and I am making turkey stock and turkey soup. Time to check the broth!

Happy Birthday Fenimore!

Two years ago today I had my first VBAC.  It is 7:32 am so Fenimore was already a little over three hours old and snuggled up asleep, wrapped tightly in our bed with yellow flannel sheets.

There are times when, in my naivety, I truly believe that anyone with a bit of desire and a good doula can have a VBAC.  My friends remind me that I worked my butt off to have a VBAC, and indeed I did.  In the end it seemed easy because the work paid off and the birth went so smoothly.  I was so ecstatic, singing throughout the birth, smiling between contractions, so happy to know my body worked, that I would soon hold my baby in my hands.  To this day, focused thoughts on the birth bring tears to my eyes.

But the months before were full of meditation and yoga (lots of hip-openers), no matter how tired I was I woke up and sat on that mat to meditate.  I carefully researched my hospital records to understand exactly what went wrong the first time and talked the head labor and delivery nurse into reviewing my records and giving me her thoughts on what happened (she thought they probably decided I was too tired to push the baby out and the doctor was getting antsy).  My chart stated that my cesarean was for reasons of CPD.  This was the first time I had seen that word, I had no idea I had had a cesarean for CPD.  True CPD is rare and I just couldn't believe my case had been a true case of CPD.  At the same time, it took a LOT of work to squash those nagging doubts installed by the experts, "maybe my pelvis is too small...."

But I covered a lot of ground in those nine months and as my due date approached, I was ready!  Happy Birthday Fenimore, thank you for helping me renew my faith in my body.

Ten Things I love about Me

My good friend Madame Meow tagged me.  After a quick phone call to clear up exactly what tagging was, I am now, as I understand it, supposed to blog on the ten things I LOVE about myself.  I feel slightly like a fifth grader sitting in front of a composition topic due tomorrow, staring longingly at my feet which ache to be shoe-less and outdoors.   I tried to get out of the exercise by thinking, hmm, this is an empowering birth blog, what does this have to do with birth, but since I rarely write about myself I thought, hey why not?  Perhaps people might be a bit curious about who I am and what better time to think about what you LOVE about yourself then when you are pregnant and perhaps not loving yourself enough.  So, modesty aside, here goes....

1. I love that I am a WOMAN (or womyn as my friend Sazz would say, and yes Sazz, I am going to tag you (this does feel like a game of chase!).  I didn't fully understand what it meant to be a woman until I gave birth/began attending births.  After attending a long exhausting labor I often hear the husband remark, wow, I don't think I could have done that.  And I think DAMN are we strong!  It must be the incomprehension/fear of our awesome strength that drives men's desire to oppress women.  Don't we tend to insult that which we really fear?  Ah, there is nothing like the face of a woman in her labor groove; radiant, riding on top of an enormous, uncontrollable energy, and fully in the moment.

2.  I love the passion with which I feel.  Most of my emotions are visceral.  It drives people crazy because if I eat a piece of pie it is the BEST piece of pie I have ever had.  If I read a good nonfiction book, it is the best nonfiction book I have ever read.  My in-laws recently lamented, "everything is always "the best" for you."  It wasn't until recently that I realized that maybe I am better at living in the moment then I thought.  I mean, at that particular moment, it really was the best.

3. I even love the fact that I am full of ups and downs, that I rarely hug the middle of the road.  I am working in my yoga journey to learn how to better hug into the mid-line (an important alignment principal of Anusara yoga), and with this I expect to find greater balance in my life, but I also love that I feel passionately about things.

4.  I love the fact that I have found a way to open up to the spirit and take a yoga pose deeper then I've ever taken it before.  I did that this again last weekend in my Anusara Immersion workshop.  I do not have a super-flexible spine by nature but I've been working for several years to create more space in my pelvis so that I can get deeper back-bends.  And then when I stop trying to control and just ride the spirit, WOW!  Now if only I can learn how to always remain open to the spirit.

5. I love the fact that I am in really good shape.  It is all yoga.  (Well maybe a tiny bit nursing mom. Who would've guessed it takes that much work to make milk!)  I was a field hockey player, swam, and ran in high school but I don't think I was ever as toned as I am now, and this is after two kids!  I certainly don't do yoga for the yoga butt but I will admit, it is a welcomed bonus!

6.  I love my intuition.  It has rarely failed me.  I can sense when it is ok to trust and when I need to be wary of something/someone, though I won't know exactly why.  And I love the palpable connection between people from which that intuition flows.  We are all one.

7. I love that I have an enormous amount of energy.  My energy is the biblical well that never ran dry.  While my abundance of energy can be a curse as well as a blessing (I work very hard to be content with stillness) I love the fact that I can go to the beach with the kids, cook a fancy dinner for a friend, schedule a prenatal, and still have the energy to get my blog done before bed.

8.  I love my blue eyes and the fact that they can look almost Lapis Lazuli in color when I am wearing a deep blue.

9. I love my laugh, I love to laugh.  It has been suspected that it is forced but I protest against that slandering claim.  It is full, loud, joyous, and without containment. 

10. I love that I can still be a kid.  When I go to a pool that has water slides and someone can watch the kids, I will go down them again, and again, and again, each time shouting with glee, thrilled to my viscus with raw joy.

Phew, I'm done!  Ok, I am going to tag Sazz, VBAC Adventure, LaborTrials and Blueberry Baby.  I think we should all spend time thinking about why we love ourself and I have a sneaking suspicion we don't always think about this as much as  we should.  Have fun!